CHARM MY PANTS OFF, WILL YOU? - THE SCIENCE OF FLIRTATION

How is it that some people can ooze irresistible charm while others are about as dull as a broken pencil? Skills in the art of flirtation are partly, and although this topic has been trivialized, even demonized, this coquettish behaviour indulged by us everyday, just so happens to be an essential part of the human species’ progression.

Beyond our surface façades of flirting, is something a little biologically deeper: a vital silent language exchanging critical and startling information about our reproductive fitness and attractive genetics. Whether we wink, smile cheekily, give the come-hither look, make a quick eyebrow raise or position our arms to draw the eye to our impressive lower abdomen, pelvic muscles and hips these non-verbal cues indicate we are prepared for physical engagement after initial attraction. Getting sex, in turn, is wholly dependent on attracting attention and being attracted. And flirting is the initial way a person focuses the attention of a specific member of the opposite sex, as a sort of “your hot, maybe later let’s make some babies”.

This universal language of attraction is hardwired into our psyches primarily as natures solution to a problem we all face; a world full of potential mates but which one(s) will we be ultimately letting into our pants. Flirtation is the game we play, a way to test the waters so to speak while we check off a list of our perfect mate criteria. Sometimes through this tumultuous trial and error of social etiquette our interest is reciprocated; other times we cut our losses or idiotically keep on trying until subtle disinterest turns into cruel words and a brisk slap to the face. Men lets face it, are more prone to the latter, having a higher tendency to misconstrue women’s friendly behaviour cues for sexual flirting.

It appears that while we spend most of our life flirting only a small portion of it is intentionally in hopes of inducing romantic overtures, the rest of the time flirting is done with more or less anyone. Primarily, it’s a fun social exchange, however, its also a handy social lubricant, used to help us to reduce the friction of everyday transactions and get something for nothing; a better seat at a restaurant, a skip to the front of the cue, a free drink at the bar, or a way out of a speeding fine.

Watching the antics of sexual negotiation of a master flirt in the full swing in games of flirtatious push and pull, exemplify’s the fact that knowing how to turn your green light on as well as reading the cues of others is vital to pulling in the prey. Think Jude Law in ALFIE, major super-flirt!

So if you believe yourself a boring individual, seemingly always left alone at the bar with about enough gumption to fill a test tube, find a DIY guide and remember flattery gets you everywhere.