IS CHIVALRY AND ROMANCE DEAD?

The reality of romance to many disgruntled singletons and coupledoms can be about as tacky and perishable as a bunch of petrol station carnations sitting next to the magazine rack of porno. While the age of chivalry, that of patriarchal zeal and heroic enterprise, seems to be almost extinguished completely by our bright lighted big city and world of opportunity.

But the question remains, when did chivalry and romance decide to take the sidelines and sit the dating game out? And whilst looking at this bemoaned loss of it in society, I couldn’t help but wonder, were we as women, the ever nostalgic romantic idealists responsible for its demise when we burnt our bras and pulled the sword of equality from its historically misogynistic stone prison?

Perhaps it is so, for since the 1848 shedding of the feminine shackles of inferiority; we have emerged in the modern age as Feminzians. A new breed of super warrior princesses, lean, mean, emasculating machines in power suits and Porsches beating our beautiful bosoms and roaring mightily to prove that although it might be a mans world, women can rule the universe.

But alas it seems that in our blind hunger for equality, we did not see the fatally double-edged nature of our freedom and so along with all the new ideals we longed for - independence, empowerment and individuality - came a complete rejection of all things feminine. Women as the traditional gatekeepers and pacesetters collectedly dropped their standards; we accepted jokes instead of ballads, emails instead of love songs and engaged in a little commitment-free, purely physical relationships without expectations. We thus opened the door for the treatment our behaviour elicited and when males are given the option to bypass courtship and gain entry without much effort, it takes no great Holmesian deduction to discover why proper treatment and respect has fallen by the wayside.

There was no catalyst or inciting incident to explain the gradual changes that society underwent and although the independence of women is most defiantly a contributing factor, it was not necessarily the murderess. Chivalry ebbed away, old, worn and dusty from non-use, because it was no longer asked to exist and in its stead was born a sort of organic common courtesy that remains today in the hearts of good wholesome men and upper-crust Harvard graduates. Romance on the other hand, has proved itself versatile to the modern world; it is all about the intention behind the act so ultimately it will never die off completely.

The problem resides however that this acclimatization to a sugar- fee existence, a romance-chivalry-less diet as such has made us intolerant of the real thing. Call it post-modern conditioning, but the subjugation of an unfathomable amount of imitation romance (ass pinching, insincerity, phoney sweet nothings whispered to gain key access, flowers to cover infidelity) and forced, formulised romance aka Valentine’s Day. The post-modern cynic is quick to rise within us and as a sort of defence mechanism to rapidly dismiss romantic gestures as overbearing or cliché corny.

But it seems it can be something we can learn to digest even though we may continually consider romance, like chivalry, well gone and dead - especially after bad dates and tasteless pick up lines from people not on the same attractive level as ourselves - but like love, it continues to be wrapped in mystery and hidden away to permeate the random seconds of life when least expected.