SEX MATES

The dating game, as a delicate dance of wits, gestures, poker faces, facades and much bluffed intelligence and bullshit, is hard enough to survive let alone play. And while we jump through the dating hoops of small talk and subtleties trying to ignore the mounting sexual tension which appears to be clouding our intelligence as we shift restlessly on bar stools. We continually wish for an easier way to obtain a sexual fix, something that won’t change the routines of our busy lives but will bring us just the right amount of satisfaction and fulfilment. Without the messiness of emotion and attachment, naturally. No fear, for as this Admiral discovered there is a way.

Lovers without commitment, fuck buddies, the no-strings-attached sex initiative, friends with benefits, booty call arrangements – call it what you want but regardless, it’s the thing to have right now; well, other than the newest ipod.

Sex with friends appears to be the perfect arrangement and the answer to sexually aggravated singletons all over the globe. The no-commitment model allows enough freedom to still dabble in dating but maintains a semi-regular bonk fest to fulfil our primitive needs of sexual release with a person we know and like. And although it may never be as passionate as sleeping with a new somebody, sex friends are, let’s face it, a safer, more sensible option than sleeping with strangers. Helping to avoid those cringing moments when in the harsh morning light you realise that the stranger next to you seems to look nothing like the person you took home last night.

Now just to make myself clear, I’m using the term ‘friends’ loosely, for lovers can never truly be friends. Sex demands a thorough coating of fantasy to make it tasteful and therefore you can never be your complete honest self with somebody you have seen naked and vice versa. Think about it! Like nudists playing ping pong, in sex there are very strict rules of make-believe. Even animals know this: lions fluff there manes to seem bigger, peacock’s parade campily in carnival costume; flamingos do a kind of fandango – voile, its sex!

Sex with friends in simplest terms means sex with somebody you’re attracted to but not in love with, and aren’t likely in any case, to be life long friends with either once your shenanigans are over. You will never give them advice, buy them thoughtful presents or take them home to meet the parents. You both will know but will never actually say that you are merely using each other as time fillers until something better comes along.

So whether you’re a proclaimed nymphomaniac, commitment-phobic love cynic or just looking for some part-time recreational activity to replace your lacklustre visits to the gym, indulge yourself and find the joy in having a ‘toy’: unwrap it, examine it, position it, discard it and pick it up again when it suits.